Just Like Me…

In a recent training on Trauma-Informed Care, I led the group through a mindfulness exercise that explored the nature of suffering. The goal was to bring a higher level of compassion for others in emotional pain.

Suffering refers to the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship. We know, in our heads, that everyone goes through difficult times but in our hearts, we neglect to connect with others, in their pain. This is because we are in pain too!

Professionals, who work with hurt people, are double-agents. They provide trauma-informed care and services to others AND they have experienced trauma too. We can be triggered by others pain and this will result in a distancing of emotions in order to keep ourselves safe. We sometimes call this a “professional distance” or “objectivity.” It might help us feel safer but it will also disconnect us from the heart of what we are trying to do in serving others. How to maintain this balance is the subject for another discussion. In the meantime, try this mindfulness exercise called “Just Like Me…” Examine how you feel before and after reading through it. Use it weekly or as often as you need to reconnect you with others who have experienced trauma and loss.

“Think of someone you like or dislike that you want to expect positive feelings and forgive. It help to think of that person who is similar to you. Take deep breaths and repeat after me…

This person has a body and a mind, just like me.
This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me.
This person has in his or her life, experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering, just like me.
This person has at some point been sad, disappointed, angry, or hurt, just like me. This person has felt unworthy or inadequate, just like me.
This person worries and is frightened sometimes, just like me.
This person has longed for friendship, just like me.
This person is learning about life, just like me.
This person wants to be caring and kind to others, just like me.
This person wants to be content with what life has given, just like me.
This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering, just like me.
This person wishes to be safe and healthy, just like me.
This person wishes to be happy, just like me.
This person wishes to be loved, just like me.
Now, allow some wishes for well-being to arise:
I wish that this person have the strength, resources, and social support to navigate the difficulties in life with ease.
I wish that this person be free from pain and suffering.
I wish that this person be peaceful and happy.
I wish that this person be loved.
Because this person is a fellow human being, just like me.”

Need a therapist or trainer on healing from the hurt of trauma? Contact Ron Huxley today at rehuxley@gmail.com.

Take an online course on Trauma-Informed Care dealing with Trauma, Anxiety, Parenting, and more at http://FamilyHealerSchool.com

 

Take a Brain Break – Mindfulness for Children

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Ron Huxley’s Comments: In this video, actress Goldie Hawn talks about the importance of teaching children mindfulness. Her program is called MindUp and takes only a few minutes a day. Mindfulness research is promising huge improvements in mental health. Some of it gets, well, a bit out there! For the most part, however, it holds great benefits in improving mood, increases focus, and promote self-control. What child doesn’t need that? What parent doesn’t need that?

Video: Chi Lessons from Horses : Spirituality & Health Magazine

Video: Chi Lessons from Horses

Allan Hamilton was all by himself one morning years ago when he leaped off a fence at summer camp and onto the back of a horse named Thunder. No saddle, no bridal, and no clue how to get down. And so the future brain surgeon simply hung on as the horse wandered. He missed lunch and dinner and rode late into the night, until a camp counselor finally showed up with a flashlight and got him down. The long ride left him so sore he couldn’t walk, but it transformed him from being the shy and fearful new-kid-at-camp to being the camp hero. It was also a giant leap into a lifelong love affair with horses and a fascination with how humans and horses connect.

In the current issue of Spirituality & Health, Dr Hamilton writes about lessons in spiritual leadership that can be learned from horses. He also promised video examples of some of these lessons. He’s been working on the videos for the last couple of weeks at his ranch in Tucson, where he and his wife Jane teach equine-assisted therapy. Check out the video below to see this fascinating work in action, and click here to see even more. Hamilton’s wonderful new book, Zen Mind, Zen Horse, is also available at Amazon.com or your favorite book store.

Last February I had the opportunity to experience these lessons firsthand with Dr. Hamilton. The videos don’t capture the thrill of learning to control a beautiful horse with a simple shift of intention. At the same time, it is amazing to see footage of what I experienced directly in the horse ring. My skeptical left brain still doesn’t know what to make of this silent, right brain communication, but having experienced it in person and watched it on video, I find it difficult to deny.

There are great lessons in these short clips. Enjoy!

Stephen Kiesling is editor-in-chief of Spirituality & Health magazine, winner of the Folio Gold Award for best magazine in religion and spirituality. Kiesling is the author of four books, including the bestselling The Shell Game: Reflections on Rowing and the Pursuit of Excellence. His writing has appeared in publications such as The New Yorker, Sports Illustrated, and Outside. Kiesling has been featured on NBC’s The Today Show, NPR’s All Things Considered, and in the New York Times.