Core Values are what drive our best practices in life. These values are at the heart of healing for Ron Huxley and are evident in his work with families:
Healing occurs in “family”. The family is the primary healing agent for change. Children cannot be “fixed” but must be treated as powerful, creative people that must learn to live with other powerful, creative people called “family.” Family can look like many positive things.
Healing is Wholeness. Healing isn’t just about coping with problems, it is about being whole in mind, body, and spirit. It involves and impacts all three areas.
Healing looks like something. It should be noticeable, practical, and agreeable. It involves a change of heart as well as behavior. It is a measurable process.
Healing focuses on our strength’s. Healing builds on what is already working… It focuses on doing more of what works and less of what doesn’t.
Healing is multi-sensory and experiential. It uses all the senses and can involve storytelling, drama, movement, and art.
Healing occurs when a “false belief” is replaced with a “true belief”. A false belief is the real root of the problem, not the behavior. Behaviors are the fruit of your beliefs. Once the false belief is discovered, a true belief must take its place.
Healing is inherent in identity. You can choose what you belief about yourself and not what your situation suggests or others say about you. Once you know your identity you will know your needs and your boundaries.
Healing always involves truth. It comes form understanding “all there is to know” about the story of you. Even young children can handle truth when shared in a developmentally appropriate and caring way. Truth brings freedom from pain.
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Time Out? Spanking? Yelling? The more popular parenting tools but usually ineffective.
Get 101 Parenting Tools from family therapist Ron Huxley and his popular ParentingToolbox.com website. This 53 page ebook gives an A-Z guide on how manage the toughest parenting problems. In addition, each tool lists the age of the child and parenting style (balance of love and limits) it is best suited for…get it and start taking back control of your home today!
10 Ways Family Journals can heal and restore your heart…
By Ron Huxley, LMFT
Journaling has long been a tool to achieving better emotional and mental health. The need to express oneself in a safe and controlled manner is a powerful means to improving self-esteem and personal relationships. Parents can use this tool to increase their effectiveness and satisfaction with family members. Here are ten ways that a journal will help parents:
1. Tell your family story. What better way to immortalize your life than to write about it in a journal? You can create a memoir of your life growing up, describe the many branches on your family tree, or just make a scrapbook of your life. Children can benefit by learning their family history and discover whom they are in relation to past generations. Parents will find clues to family dysfunction and strengths by exploring their familial history.
2. Share yourself with family members. Most people keep their journals private but choosing a sister or child to share a journal with can close the gap on distant relationships or bring close one’s even closer. Swap separate journals for family members to read, keep a family journal that is free for all to read and write, or create a journal to express thoughts, feelings, and dreams with a particular family member.
3. Organize yourself…emotionally and spiritually. Whenever I go to the store, I make a list. If I don’t I am sure to forget something. Probably a few “something’s”. Writing things down helps me recall what I need to buy. Journaling will help you remember the emotional and spiritual items you need in your life. Some of this items you may not have known you needed and others will be one’s that you know you need but haven’t had the courage to go out there and get it. Journaling is the first step in that spiritual grocery store shopping.
4. Track your emotions, moods, and experiences over time. Monday was a high-energy day. Tuesday, I felt depressed and lethargic. Wednesday, I started to climb out of it. Thursday, I felt better but had difficulty focusing. You get the picture, right? Journals will help you map the highs and lows of your week, month, or year so that you can plan your life accordingly. What mood ring can do that for you?
5. Unburden yourself and let go of old hurts. You’ve carried that old emotional baggage for how many years now? Isn’t it time to let it go and move forward feeling a little lighter on the emotional load. You can let go of the hurts and fears you inherited from childhood that have clung to you through adulthood and affected all of your important relationships. Release them into a journal and really live life to the fullest. Because you are anonymous, this is your opportunity to say it all and unburden yourself so that you can have freer, more productive relationships with your family instead of venting it all at them.
6. Clarify and achieve your dreams, goals, and aspirations. Any successful life planner, motivational speaker, or therapist will tell you that in order to achieve a goal or dream you must write it down. Journals are a great way to realizing that goal or dream. While the path of life and relationships seems confusing and chaotic, a look back, into your journal, will reveal some very clear patterns that will help you in your future journeying.
7. Share your wisdom (life experiences) with others. I may not be an expert on life but I have had my share of successes and failures. So have you. Together we can learn and grow more than either of us could have done alone. Use journals to write down your mistakes so your children do not make the same one’s or share a few tips about life that you wish your parents had shared with you. It’s not too late.
8. Glimpse the world through the eyes of another person. Journals allow you to see life from the perspective of another’s culture, geography, beliefs, age, and gender. Take a trip around the world or through time simply by reading a family journal. Ask family members to describe you or your childhood. You may be surprise by what you learn when others look at you and your life.
9. Challenge your beliefs and enrich your life. Master therapists tell us that in order to change your life you must change your thoughts or beliefs. Doing this on your own is difficult if not impossible. Journals are a great way to analyze those thoughts that get in the way of good mental health and better family relationships.
10. Realize you are not alone! Have you had a loved one pass away? Suffered a divorce or financial loss? Had a prodigal child leave home? Anyone who has suffered a loss or felt the weight of depression knows how lonely that can be. It feels like no one could possibly understand the pain you feel. Family Journals remind you know that you are never alone and that hope is just one entry away!
From the office of Ron Huxley, founder of the Parenting Toolbox…
“I don’t believe anymore in coping, suffering, or managing our pain. I believe in overcoming, restoring, and wholeness. It is time for traditional mental health to raise the bar on our expectations for ourselves and our families. No one wants to be a limping, functional person when they can be completely healthy and happy. I am currently on my own journey now, exploring how to make this a reality. Contact me for more information and/or set up a consultation time to start the road to a real life."
What is in your Parenting Toolbox? A study on the most widely used parenting tool revealed that most parents use time-out or spanking to discipline their children. When asked how effective their primary tool was only 1/3 stated that it worked consistently for them. That left 66.9% that felt it didn’t work. Why use a tool that doesn’t work? Because parents don’t know what else to do…
This is the mission and goal of the Ron Huxley’s Parenting Toolbox: To give parents the right tools to do the job of parenting.
What works for you? Share with us by clicking the comment button or go to Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/parentingtoolbox
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An unsolicited endorsement by Kathleen Karns of the Toddler Tamer.
“Raising a family today can be an almost overwhelming challenge with the diverse differences in the family both socially and culturally. We are a society of single parent families and mixed families that do not fit within the parameters of the traditional, two parent family. When tackling everything from step-parenting to behavioral problems with children, the unprepared parent can feel as though they are drowning.
To provide solutions for this social chaos, family therapist Ron Huxley enters the fray with his phenomenal system called the Parenting Toolbox. By utilizing the vast array of services and educational tools available with a subscription to www.parentingtoolbox.com, struggling parents can find the information and resources that will equip them to face the challenges associated with raising their children in today’s world. The Parenting Toolbox offers an array of tools that will enable you to become a better parent:
- Knowing that the most important role that you can have in life is being a parent and learning to express the value of parenthood everyday provides the beginning steps to face all of the challenges that children can bring into life.
- You will learn new and variable ways of disciplining children without always resorting to corporal punishment that will stimulate the mind and instill respect.
- Either open or improve the lines of communication between parents and their children.
- You will be able to learn what more about the ways you were brought up affect the way you raise you own children and provide the means to change these parental patterns.
- Not only will your own self-esteem get a boost that it needs, you will be able to teach your children about their own innate value.
- Parents are given healthy ways to deal with their anger and stress in ways that will be helpful and non-abusive.
- Creative strategies are introduced to deal with challenging behaviors in children in safe and productive ways.
- Games, puzzles, and other creative exercises both strengthen the parent’s ability to communicate important concepts to the child but also enable the child’s ability to think and reason in social settings.
- Parents no longer have to be in the dark when it comes to ways to raise their children that will promote spiritual growth. Parents can learn ways to incorporate their spiritual heritage into the lessons and sources provided by the parenting toolbox.
- More than this, Ron Huxley and the parenting toolbox will equip you with something even more valuable: guaranteed life long support. This is the real commitment that parentingtoolbox.com makes. It will be there through every stage of a child’s development to provide not only just the right tools to make you a better parent but also support through groups of parents and professionals who have been there before.
Whatever the situation, you will be able to count on the resources of this amazing system to give what you need when you need it.”
How has this blog helped you? Leave a comment here or on Facebook at http;//www.facebook.com/parentingtoolbox
Parenting Toolbox Thought: If you think about today as having thousands of small choices, you can begin to believe that change in your family is possible. If you only look at the day as one way or the other, you limit yourself and make life continue to feel impossible. Be aware of the choices that present themselves every few minutes and take a thoughtful step in a different direction toward a better destination for your family relationships.