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Respect Your Parents…and Your Child

Respect Your Parents…and Your Child

By Ron Huxley, LMFT

Mutual respect based on the assumption of equality, is the inalienable right of all human beings. Parents who show respect for the child–while winning his respect for them–teach the child to respect himself and others. Equality in this sense is treating each person with respect and integrity, no matter what their age. This also leaves room for parents to be in charge and to set some non-negotiable rules and limits, but to do so in a respectful manner.

Family Meetings

family meetings for parenting success

A family meeting gives every member of the family a chance to express himself freely in all matters of both difficulty and pleasure pertaining to the family. The emphasis should be on “What we can do about the situation.” Meet regularly at the same time each week. Rotate the leader. Keep minutes. Have an equal vote for each member. Only bring those concerns to the family meeting, which are negotiable. Require a consensus, rather than a majority vote on each decision. Some family rules are non-negotiable. Perhaps explanations or reinforcement of a rule would be appropriate.

Have fun together and thereby help to develop a relationship based on enjoyment, mutual respect, love and affection, mutual confidence and trust, and a feeling of belonging. Instead of talking to nag, scold, preach, and correct, utilize talking to maintain a friendly relationship. Speak to your child with the same respect and consideration that you would express to a good friend.

7 Steps to a More Authentic Life

authenticbook

7 Steps to a More Authentic Life

By Ron Huxley, LMFT

We are all looking for that muse that can inspire more creative juices into our work and relationships. We all want to be happy, free of the black cloud that hangs over us. You probably know a few people who seem to be “naturally” like this. You really don’t trust them, do you? If you are like me, you probably think they are highly delusional or at least a big faker. And yet… Something draws you to this life of emotional freedom and simple pleasure at being alive. You want to have a passionate, authentic life. That really should be too much to ask, now should it?

Here’s seven steps to help you find a new passionate direction for living. Try them on and see what they can do for you:

1. Start off by being curious. That’s right, just like a young child that stops in the middle of the road to look at pretty flower or a odd looking bug. Stop occasionally and take something in fully. Allow yourself to be curious about people, places and things. I know how perfectionism and pessimism can shut this down. Tell the voices in your head to shut up and stop, look and listen.

2. Garbage in, Garbage out. This is an old saying and I am sure you have heard some variation of it. Perhaps you have heard the expression: “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he…” What you put in your mind transforms you. You don’t have to turn off the television (although it would be a good idea), just watch one hour of the nature channel or the history channel or something other than the depressing junk that’s out there. Read a book on a topic you have never thought about before. Listen to an audio tape by a motivational speaker. Hey, podcasts are a great idea if you like to listen to stuff.

3. Post it. If you come across a saying or verse or picture that touches you in some way. Write it down or cut it out but post it where you can see it everyday. Let it do the work by absorbing into your mind on a subconcious level. Watch what it can do without you having to figure it out.

4. Say thanks. I mean really say thanks, with the whole eye contact for a full half second or more. Let the Barista at Starbucks now you really appreciate him or her. Tell your office mate thank you as sincerely as possible. Make them look you in the eye no matter how painful for them or you. And, tell you higher power thanks for your next breath, that darn cat that scratched your new coach, and your boss because even if he is a pig, at least you can get a paycheck to go to Starbucks and tell the Barista thank you.

5. Watch your language. Not just the cuss words but the “woulda, coulda, shoulda” stuff. Check how often you say things like “I always do…” or “I must have…” Life is really about a lot of choices. Good ones and bad ones. Start using words like “I choose to…” or “I want do…” Oh yeah. Avoid starting off sentences with “You…” as that make people defensive and you can’t control them anyway.

6. Keep humor at the forefront of thought, laughing at and with yourself when possible. You may find yourself quite entertaining when you loosen up! I am yet to see a comedian ever go hungry even though his jokes are as ‘old as great-grandma’. Life has so much to offer to allow you to mope around in self pity. Humor is very attractive, very passionate: life-giving.

7. Believe that you are the architect of your destiny. No one can take your passionate future from you except for you! Create your life authentically. As long as there’s still breath in your body, there is no end to how much you can accomplish in a lifetime. The concept of thinking big is all about enjoying your work, which would lead to celebrate a discovery that is born within your hands. Watch everything flow into place with perfect, passionate precision.

Read Ron’s ebook on “Living More Abundantly: Simple Steps to a Happier Life”

Parenting Success In Small Steps

By Ron Huxley, LMFT

The key to building the family of your dreams is to measure your success in tiny steps. Stop looking for the big changes and focus on the small. Eventually you will get to the big ones but only one tiny step at a time.

Parents have a shortage of time. The quickest way end a parents dream strategy is feeling “overwhelmed.” Map out your day with your family in terms if hours and minutes. Build in time cushions so that you can get everything done. Eliminate anything that is not absolutely essential to the type of relationships you want and deserve to have.

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist providing faith-based, trauma-informed therapy for individuals and families. My heart is to see hurting people saved, healed and delivered. Currently, I am practicing in my Shell Beach, California office but travel internationally educating parents and professionals on adoption and permanency skills. You can schedule an office visit or Skype call right away. Just click here now…

Learn a little bit more about me.