How do dad’s emotions affect their children?

There is some interesting research on the link between depressed dads and its effects on their children. This supports much of the posts I have written on the importance of father/child bond. The research is summarized by Child-Psych.org at http://bit.ly/mvo6nu: “The current study used a nationally representative sample of fathers of one year-olds, 1,746 dads in total.

The men answered questions in four different areas: interactive play (e.g., peek-a-boo), speech and language interactions, reading to the child, and spanking. Whether or not the fathers had talked with their child’s pediatrician during the past year was also assessed. Seven percent of the fathers in the study reported being depressed during the past year. Seventy-seven percent of these dads also had spoken with the pediatrician over the past year… there were no differences between fathers that were not depressed and those that were in their reports of playing interactive games and singing songs/nursery rhymes with their children. Depressed dads were less likely to read to their one year-olds and much more likely to spank them.”

Conclusions of this study focused on the relationship between a fathers well-being and the child emotional and academic abilities later in life. As you might expect, the higher the depression in dad, the lower the functioning of the child. In addition, there is a connection between how aggressive dads were in their discipline. A higher percentage of dads spanked or acted out of anger with their children. Why do I keep harping on this topic? I want dads to be aware of and accept how vital there role is in the life of their children. I want others (moms and society in general) to be more mindful of the need to educate and support dads in this role. As men, we don’t get the same amount of formal or informal training to be parents as moms. More focus is needed for men to rise to the challenge of parenting.

Telehealth for Trauma: An effective treatment strategy

According to the National Center for Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, Telehealth or TeleMental Health services are an effective treatment strategy for trauma. Telehealth uses information technology, such as email, phone calls, FaceTime video, and Secure Online Video to conduct therapy services. This technology allows a therapist and a client to engage in real-time two-way interaction. Services that can be provided via Telehealth include assessments, individual and group therapy, psychoeducational interventions, and general therapeutic interactions.

Traditionally, mental health services are engaged in face-to-face, office visits. Just because this is traditional, doesn’t mean that is is more effective. There are times when face-to-face visits are preferred due to lack of adequate technology, challenges with privacy at home, or personal limitations of the client in using technology. In all other situations, TeleHealth is a unique service that provides several benefits, including:

  1. Savings in time and money,
  2. Overcome geographic distance for rural populations,
  3. Increased access to care for individuals with mobility issues (lack of transportation),
  4. Flexibility of appointment times (e.g., out of town for work, babysitting concerns, or other restriction on clients availability like a lunch hour, etc.),
  5. Promotion of physical health by avoiding spreading a contagious illness (COVID-19 or general sickness, like a cold).

Telehealth is not new. It has been used for six decades, in the medical field, and is now being adopted by TeleMental Health as a flexible option for individuals. It is not a “lesser” alternative to mental health care. Outcome research has proven it to be very effective in many areas of mental health issues, like anxiety, depression, and trauma. It also offers convenient support for many general concerns, such as parenting education, life transitions, spiritual direction, and more.

A recent article from the Washington Post points out how global pandemics, like the COVID-19 virus, have shifted the landscape of mental health services through the use of technology allowing more people to attend to their mental health needs. Therapists and individuals may be just blocks away from one another geographically, but medical issues isolate and create an insurmountable “distance” between them. The use of Telehealth or TeleMental Health eliminates geographic and social distance.

The reality is that people around the world are suffering and in need of mental health treatment, education, and support. Children and adults who have experienced trauma cannot wait for medical cures or be punished for lack of mental health access. Telehealth/TeleMental Health is a powerful tool to bring immediate hope and healing.

Learn how to use TeleHealth with Ron Huxley by clicking here!

Read about our security measures and informed consent for Telehealth services here!

SOURCES:

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treat/txessentials/telemental_health.asp https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/ser-a0034963.pdf https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/03/23/coronavirus-is-mental-health-emergency-too-we-must-remove-barriers-care/?fbclid=IwAR3JK9PIihf_5_nbwbPtgtC1coPpflzmWnAPEDE5FL5kgjsvCnUix_N74aY

What is Anxiety and How to Manage Pandemic Uncertainty

In this first video of five total video series on Building Family Resiliency we talk about how to manage anxiety in a time of uncertainty. Learn powerful tools that will help you and your children find freedom from anxious thoughts. Discover bodily-based strategies that don’t require lecture, rationalization, or complex ideas to bring peace to your life.

Get more free tools at FamilyHealer.tv or schedule a time to talk to Ron today!

Building Family Resiliency (Video)

Parent Connection Coach and Educator Ron Huxley, L.M.F.T., is here to help you and your family build resiliency during these stressful times.
Watch the video and learn how to:
1. Gain new perspectives.
2. Teach your children to be problem solversHelp parents become resiliency coaches and avoid power struggles.
3. Eliminate negative game playing to develop loving and cooperative relationships.

Ron Huxley has over 30 years experience helping families heal and serves as a parent coach and educator with Parent Connection of San Luis Obispo County. In his capacity as a parent coach, Ron specializes in working with families who’ve experienced trauma. He believes in taking a strength-based approach that builds on solutions and he creates strategies that fit each family situation in the shortest time necessary.  


Ron Huxley is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist providing trauma-informed therapy for individuals and families. Currently practicing on the Central Coast of California, Ron travels internationally educating parents and professionals on trauma-informed care.

May is Mental Health Month

Mental Health Awareness Month (also referred to as “Mental Health Month”) has been observed in May in the United States since 1949, reaching millions of people in the United States through the media, local events, and screenings.

May is Mental Health Month

Mental Health Awareness Month began in the United States in 1949 by the Mental Health America-organization (then known as the National Association for Mental Health). Each year in mid-March Mental Health America releases a toolkit of materials to guide preparation for outreach activities during Mental Health Awareness Month. During the month of May, Mental Health America, its affiliates, and other organizations interested in mental health conduct a number of activities which are based on a different theme each year.

Get mental health tools free at FamilyHealer .tv

Now you can have Occupational Therapy at home and improve social skills / self-control

Just because your children are stuck at home doesn’t mean that can’t benefit from occupational therapy or therapeutic movement. Now you can use the Coordikids Home-Based OT program. Watch Your Child’s Social Skills and Self-Control Dramatically Improve!

Best of all it is free during this “Stay-At-Home” order for families! Use the code “ROH” when checking out to get this free offering.

https://www.coordikids.com/schoolathome/

  • Perfect for busy families on a tight budget. (FREE FOR A LIMITED TIME)
  • Works for children of any age. 
  • Video exercises will motivate children to learn the skills.
  • New videos every two weeks for 1 year but available for 3 years.
  • Build on scientific practices and 47 years of combined Occupational Therapy Experience.
  • Creates connections between parents and children. 
  • Boosts confidence at home, school and social situations.
  • Increases emotional regulation (fewer tantrums, outbursts, aggression).
  • FREE expert consultations to customize a program to your child and families needs.
  • Available anytime, anywhere in flexible, fun delivery to your computer. 

PROGRAM DETAILS:

How does Sensory Integration Heal Trauma?

Sensory Integration is a relatively easy way to assist trauma victims towards full recovery.  Researchers have recently begun to learn more about the important link between sensory integration challenges and children who have suffered from trauma. Similar to adults who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), children who experience trauma early in life may be anxious or constantly concerned something bad will happen. Recognizing these children’s understanding of the world is based upon their sensory systems is an important first step in helping them to cope with everyday experiences.

A person deals with trauma using sensory processing and lower brain functions (and not with things such as rational thoughts). Therefore, responses may not be reasonable as they are driven by instinctual reminders. This knowledge can be vastly helpful in guiding treatment for young trauma victims. For example, when talk therapy is used exclusively, not all of the impacted senses are addressed. Consequently, as illustrated in a 2010 study by Kaiser et al., trauma victims show far more improvement when therapy includes sensory integration treatments. Addressing such areas of challenge both alleviate trauma symptoms and assists children in developing strategies to better manage future situations. 

For children who may be struggling to manage sensory inputs, changing the intensity of the input can help immensely. For example, decreasing the volume of a video clip, lowering the level of surrounding activity or minimizing the use fabrics perceived as “itchy” or “clingy”, may help significantly. CoordiKids encourages the development of the sensory motor skills through easy-to-follow exercises that can significantly help trauma victims.

Best of all it is free during this “Stay-At-Home” order for families! Use the code “ROH” when checking out to get this free offering. Click here now: https://www.coordikids.com/schoolathome/

A Dialogue on Mental Health, Faith, and Trauma

I had the honor of talking with John Sparrow, pastor of Equippers Church – Central Coast, on how to manage our mental health during the pandemic. John shares some of his personal journey, dealing with the stressors of life. I respond to his concerns about dealing with uncertainty, how faith helps us through the struggles of life, and some practical tools to heal from trauma. I hope you enjoy it!

Click the image to watch the full video on Facebook.

How do we learn to communicate better?

Struggling to communicate is a common problem in couples and families. Here’s a list of thought-provoking ideas to help you be a better listener and create more intimacy:

  1. Take responsibility for yourself. You can’t control anyone else.
  2. Make plans to talk. Timing helps.
  3. Nagging is usually a way to get someone to talk. It doesn’t work.
  4. Make eye contact.
  5. Start with positives and give compliments liberally.
  6. Ask open-ended questions and/or “Tell me more.”
  7. Good communicators listen more than they talk.
  8. Use storytelling with imagery and metaphors.
  9. Validate others positive points that you can agree with.
  10. Use I-statements. You-statements make people defensive.
  11. Be bold with your needs and wants.
  12. Pray with and for family members.
  13. Start with the most difficult issues first.
  14. Confidentiality is a must for safety and trust.
  15. Manage how you say things, not just what you say.
  16. Listen to what others say, not how they say things.
  17. Take a break or time-out if needed.
  18. Avoid distraction and give your undivided attention.
  19. Make the other person feel special.
  20. Observe non-verbal clues.
  21. Give choices to give more power.
  22. Share your feelings.
  23. Focus on problem-solving only if specifically requested.
  24. Be OK with saying “No.”
  25. Talk about your dreams for yourself and together.
  26. Write what you want to say first.
  27. Delay a response if you need to if overly emotional.
  28. You can disagree without being disrespectful.
  29. Use tentative statements like “In my opinion…If you ask me…From my point of you…Could you consider…”
  30. Speak only positive words or ask in a positive way.