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Finding Courage and Strength: A Review of “Courage to Change” by Al-Anon

Introduction: Living with a loved one who struggles with addiction can be incredibly difficult and painful. It can leave us feeling overwhelmed, helpless, and lost. Al-Anon is a support group that offers help and hopes to people affected by someone else’s addiction. One of their essential resources is “Courage to Change,” a daily reader book filled with reflections and meditations designed to provide comfort and inspiration. This article will review “Courage to Change” and discuss who would benefit most from this book.

Authors: “Courage to Change” is published by Al-Anon. This support group has been helping families and friends of alcoholics since 1951. The book was written by Al-Anon members and is based on their experiences, strength, and hope.

Who Would Benefit Most: “Courage to Change” is a valuable resource for anyone affected by someone else’s addiction. This includes family members, friends, and loved ones of addicts. The book offers daily reflections and meditations that provide comfort, support, and inspiration to those struggling to cope with the challenges of addiction. It can help readers find peace, serenity, and the courage to change the things they can.

Dealing with a family member with addiction can be an incredibly difficult and stressful experience that can impact a person’s boundaries, communication, and self-worth in several ways:

  1. Boundaries: a) Lack of clarity: Family members often struggle to define and maintain healthy boundaries with their loved ones struggling with addiction. They may feel guilty or responsible for their loved one’s behavior, leading to confusion about where to draw the line. b) Blurred lines: Addiction can cause family members to feel as though they need to be constantly available to their loved ones, leading to blurred boundaries and a lack of personal space. c) Resentment: Family members may struggle with resentment towards their loved one for crossing their boundaries, leading to tension and conflict.
  2. Communication: a) Fear and avoidance: Fear of triggering their loved one or causing conflict can lead family members to avoid communicating openly and honestly with them. b) Enabling: Family members may unknowingly enable their loved one’s addiction by not setting clear communication boundaries or avoiding confrontation. c) Misunderstandings: Communication breakdowns can lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations that can further strain relationships.
  3. Self-worth: a) Blaming themselves: Family members may blame themselves for their loved one’s addiction, leading to guilt, shame, and low self-worth. b) Codependency: Family members may become so enmeshed in their loved one’s addiction that they lose their sense of self-worth and identity outside of their relationship. c) Lack of support: Lack of support from friends or family members can cause a person to question their self-worth and worthiness of love and care.

The Book’s Contents: “Courage to Change” is a daily reader book that offers 365 reflections and meditations. Each day’s reading focuses on a specific topic: acceptance, self-care, forgiveness, and gratitude. The readings are designed to be short and easy to read, making them a perfect resource for busy people.

The book’s reflections are based on the principles of Al-Anon, which include accepting the things we cannot change, letting go of control, and trusting a higher power. It emphasizes the importance of self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and cultivating self-love and self-compassion.

Similar Sources: Many other resources are available for people affected by addiction. One of the most well-known is “The 12 Steps” by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). While “The 12 Steps” is written for people who struggle with addiction, it can also be a valuable resource for loved ones who want to better understand the recovery process.

Another resource is “Beyond Addiction” by Jeffrey Foote, Carrie Wilkens, and Nicole Kosanke. This book offers a science-based approach to addiction that focuses on the whole family, not just the addict. It provides practical tools and strategies for families to navigate addiction challenges.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This quote, often called the Serenity Prayer, is a central theme of “Courage to Change.” This principle can be applied to many aspects of life but is especially relevant for people affected by addiction which often struggle with helplessness and powerlessness.

Conclusion: Living with addiction can be incredibly challenging, but hope exists. “Courage to Change” is a valuable resource for anyone affected by addiction. Its daily reflections and meditations provide comfort, support, and inspiration, helping readers find the courage and strength to face the challenges of addiction. Other resources, such as “The 12 Steps” and “Beyond Addiction,” can also be helpful tools for those seeking support and guidance.

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5 Key Benefits of Family Therapy for Improving Communication

Effective communication is essential for building strong, healthy relationships within families. However, many families struggle with communication difficulties that can lead to feelings of tension, conflict, and disconnection. Family therapy can be an effective solution for addressing these issues and improving communication within families.

Here are 5 key benefits of family therapy for improving communication:

  1. Identify Communication Patterns: Family therapists can help families identify communication patterns that may be hindering effective communication. By developing awareness of these patterns, families can begin to make positive changes that lead to stronger relationships and improved communication.
  2. Develop Effective Communication Skills: Family therapists can teach families practical communication skills that can help them express their needs and feelings clearly and directly while also respecting the needs and feelings of others. These skills can be applied in all areas of life, from personal relationships to the workplace.
  3. Address Underlying Issues: Family therapists can help families address underlying issues that may contribute to communication difficulties, such as anxiety, stress, or past trauma. Families can improve communication and build stronger relationships by addressing these issues.
  4. Improve Family Dynamics: Family therapists can work with families to improve family dynamics and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. By addressing communication patterns and underlying issues, families can develop more positive interactions and a greater sense of connection.
  5. Build Stronger Relationships: Ultimately, family therapy can help families build stronger, healthier relationships by improving communication and addressing underlying issues. This can lead to greater feelings of love, trust, and connection within the family.

Resources:

There are many books available that provide practical advice and strategies for improving communication within families. Some recommended titles include “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall B. Rosenberg, “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Kerry Patterson, and “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. You can also take a free course from Ron Huxley at FamilyHealer.tv

In conclusion, family therapy can be valuable for improving family communication. Families can overcome communication difficulties and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships by identifying communication patterns, developing practical communication skills, addressing underlying issues, improving family dynamics, and building more robust ones.

Connect with Ron Huxley today and work on your family’s communication patterns. Click here!

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Asserting Your Child Custody Rights: How to Deal with a Challenging Ex-Spouse.

Regarding divorce, child custody is often one of the most contentious issues couples face. Disagreements about custody arrangements can be emotional and heated, especially when one parent is trying to manipulate or change the agreement at the last minute. This common hot-button issue can make an already difficult situation even more challenging for parents and children.

Let’s take the example of Tom and Jane. They have two children, and after their divorce, they agreed to split custody equally. However, Jane frequently tries to change the custody arrangement at the last minute, making it difficult for Tom to plan his schedule and causing tension between them. Tom wants to be assertive and stick to the agreed-upon arrangement, but he doesn’t want to create conflict or upset his children.

If you find yourself in a situation similar to Tom and Jane’s, it’s important to remember that there are ways to handle custody disputes effectively without causing unnecessary conflict. Here are some tips to help you be assertive around your child custody while dealing with a challenging ex-spouse:

  1. Focus on the child’s best interests. Custody arrangements should prioritize the child’s needs and well-being above everything else. When discussing custody issues with your ex-spouse, focus on what is best for your child rather than getting caught up in your desires or feelings.
  2. Create a detailed custody plan. Having a clear, detailed custody plan in place can help both parents to understand their roles and responsibilities and make it easier to stick to the agreed-upon arrangement. This plan should include specific dates and times for custody exchanges, as well as guidelines for how decisions about the child will be made.
  3. Communicate assertively. When discussing custody issues with your ex-spouse, it’s essential to be clear and direct about your concerns and expectations. State why the change is not possible or practical, and set firm boundaries to protect your child’s best interests. It’s important to remember that assertiveness does not mean aggression, and being respectful in your communication can help to keep the conversation constructive.
  4. Seek mediation. In cases where communication breaks down or one parent is being challenged, mediation can be an effective way to resolve disputes and come to a mutually agreeable solution. A mediator can help both parents to communicate effectively, identify their underlying concerns, and work together to find a solution that works for everyone.
  5. Take care of yourself. Going through a divorce and dealing with custody issues can be emotionally challenging for both parents and children. It’s essential to take care of your own emotional well-being, seek support from family and friends, and consider working with a therapist or counselor if necessary.

It’s important to note that there is a difference between aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive communication. Aggressive communication is characterized by focusing on one’s own needs and desires at the expense of others and can involve blaming, attacking, or threatening the other person. Passive-aggressive communication is characterized by an indirect expression of one’s needs and desires, often through sarcasm, procrastination, or withholding information. Assertive communication, on the other hand, is characterized by focusing on clearly and directly expressing one’s needs and desires while respecting the other person’s feelings and perspective. Assertive communication can help to minimize conflict and create healthy communication patterns, even in challenging situations such as divorce and custody arrangements.

Assertiveness checklist for parents dealing with custody issues:

  1. Identify your needs and concerns. Before entering into a conversation about custody arrangements, take some time to identify what you need and your concerns. Write them down if necessary so you can reference them during the conversation.
  2. Use “I” statements. Using “I” statements can help you communicate your thoughts and feelings without blaming or accusing the other person. For example, instead of saying, “You always change the custody schedule at the last minute,” say, “I feel frustrated when the custody schedule is changed at the last minute.”
  3. Stay calm and focused. It’s important to stay calm and focused during the conversation, even if the other person becomes defensive or argumentative. Take deep breaths, stay centered, and remind yourself of your goals for the conversation.
  4. Be clear and specific. Use clear and specific language to communicate your needs and expectations. For example, instead of saying, “I don’t want you to change the custody schedule,” say, “I need us to stick to the agreed-upon custody schedule for the benefit of our child.”
  5. Set boundaries. It’s important to set boundaries around what you are willing and not willing to accept regarding custody arrangements. Communicate your boundaries clearly and calmly, and stick to them.
  6. Listen actively. Active listening is an important part of assertive communication. Make sure to listen to the other person’s perspective without interrupting or getting defensive. Reflect on what they are saying to ensure you understand their position.
  7. Be open to compromise. It’s essential to be open to compromise regarding custody arrangements. Work together to find a solution that meets your needs and is in your child’s best interest.

In conclusion, dealing with custody issues can be challenging and emotional, but it’s essential to prioritize your child’s best interests and be assertive when necessary. By focusing on clear communication, creating a detailed custody plan, seeking mediation, and taking care of yourself, you can navigate custody issues effectively and minimize conflict with your ex-spouse. Remember, your words have power, so use them wisely to improve the situation for everyone involved.

If you’re struggling with custody issues and dealing with a challenging ex-spouse, know that you don’t have to go through it alone. Seeking support from a therapist can help you navigate the emotional challenges of divorce and custody arrangements and develop effective communication and coping skills. Don’t hesitate to schedule a therapy session today to get the help you need to move forward healthily and positively for yourself and your child. Click here to schedule a session with Ron Huxley today!

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Building a Strong Marriage: The Importance of Gottman Love Maps

Dr. John Gottman is a renowned relationship expert and his research on building a “Love Map” emphasizes the importance of knowing your partner’s inner world in order to build a strong and lasting relationship. The concept of the Love Map is based on the idea that a strong relationship is built on a foundation of knowledge and understanding of your partner’s thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, fears, and preferences.

According to Gottman, a Love Map is a mental map that we create of our partner’s inner world. It includes information such as their likes and dislikes, important life events, and deepest hopes and fears. When we have a detailed Love Map of our partner, we are better able to understand their thoughts and emotions, empathize with them, and respond to their needs in a more meaningful way. This, in turn, can help build trust and emotional intimacy in the relationship.

Gottman’s Love Map concept is just one of the many principles he has developed through his research on couples and relationships. His other main concepts include the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling) and the Sound Relationship House, which includes components such as trust, intimacy, and shared meaning.

Gottman’s work has been widely studied and cited in the field of couples therapy. One of his most famous books is “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”, which provides practical advice and strategies for couples looking to improve their relationship. Another highly recommended book is “The Relationship Cure”, which focuses on improving communication and emotional connection between partners.

Try these questions with your partner to build your love map:

  1. What are some of your partner’s goals and dreams for the future?
  2. What are some of your partner’s favorite hobbies or interests?
  3. What are some of your partner’s fears or worries?
  4. What are some of your partner’s most cherished childhood memories?
  5. What are some of your partner’s favorite movies or books?
  6. What are some of your partner’s spiritual or religious beliefs?
  7. What are some of your partner’s greatest strengths or talents?
  8. What are some of your partner’s pet peeves or dislikes?
  9. What are some of your partner’s fondest memories of your relationship?
  10. What are some of your partner’s deepest desires or aspirations?

Overall, Gottman’s Love Map concept is an essential component of building a strong and healthy relationship. By taking the time to get to know your partner on a deep level, you can foster a stronger emotional connection, build trust, and create a foundation for a lasting relationship

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How to Set Boundaries and Be Assertive in Parenting: A Guide for Single Moms

As a single mom, it can be challenging to juggle the demands of parenting with your own needs and responsibilities. If your children are manipulative or irresponsible, maintaining control and creating a healthy family dynamic can be even more difficult. However, by learning to set boundaries and be assertive, you can take control of your life and create a more favorable environment for yourself and your children.

Setting Boundaries: A Real-Life Story

Jenny is a single mom with two teenage children. She struggled with her children’s manipulative behavior and lack of responsibility for years. They constantly demanded her time and energy and often guilt-tripped her into doing things for them. As a result, Jenny felt overwhelmed and frustrated and didn’t know how to change the dynamic.

With the help of a family therapist, Jenny learned how to set boundaries and be assertive with her children. She identified specific behaviors that she wanted to change, such as her children’s habit of leaving messes around the house or constantly asking her for money. She then communicated these boundaries to her children in a clear and assertive manner, using “I” statements to express her needs and expectations.

At first, Jenny’s children were resistant to the new boundaries. They complained and argued and even tried to guilt-trip her into changing her mind. However, Jenny stayed firm and followed through with consequences when her boundaries were violated. She also prioritized self-care and sought support from friends and family members, who encouraged her to stay strong and stay committed to her goals.

Over time, Jenny’s children began to respect her boundaries and take her more seriously. They learned to clean up after themselves and take responsibility for their own lives and even started to express gratitude for the changes that had been made. Today, Jenny feels more in control of her life and her family and has a more positive and respectful relationship with her children.

How to Set Boundaries and Be Assertive in Parenting

If you’re a single mom who is struggling with manipulative or irresponsible children, here are some tips on how to set boundaries and be assertive:

  1. Identify specific boundaries: Think about the behaviors you want to change, and identify specific boundaries you want to set with your children. This could include limits on behavior, expectations for responsibility, or guidelines for communication.
  2. Communicate assertively: When setting boundaries, it is important to communicate clearly and assertively. Use “I” statements to express your needs and expectations, and avoid blaming or accusing language.
  3. Follow through: Once boundaries have been set, following through with consequences when they are violated is essential. This helps to reinforce the importance of the boundary and encourages your children to take it seriously.
  4. Stay calm: When setting boundaries, it is important to stay calm and avoid getting defensive or reactive. This helps to keep the conversation focused on the issue at hand and prevents it from escalating into an argument.
  5. Prioritize self-care: Setting boundaries can be challenging and may cause feelings of guilt or anxiety. It is important to prioritize self-care and engage in activities promoting your well-being.
  6. Seek support: Don’t be afraid to seek support from friends, family members, or a therapist. This can provide encouragement and validation and help you stay accountable to your goals.

Using these tips, you can set clear boundaries with your children and create a more positive and respectful family dynamic. It may take time and effort, but with persistence and commitment, you can take control of your life and create a healthier, happier family.

Let Ron Huxley help you and your family be healthy and happy. Contact him today!

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The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook

“The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer is a comprehensive guide to developing self-compassion, which involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding rather than criticism and judgment. The authors provide a step-by-step program for cultivating self-compassion and building resilience.

One of the key insights from the book is that self-compassion involves three key components: mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity. Mindfulness involves being present and aware of one’s thoughts and feelings without judgment or criticism. Self-kindness involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding rather than harsh self-criticism. Common humanity involves recognizing that everyone experiences life’s difficulties and challenges and is not alone in their struggles.

The book includes numerous exercises and practices for cultivating self-compassion, including guided meditations, journaling prompts, and self-reflection exercises. The authors also guide overcoming common barriers to self-compassion, such as perfectionism, shame, and self-doubt.

Some of the exercises from the book include:

  1. Loving-Kindness Meditation: This meditation involves directing loving-kindness towards oneself and others. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest incorporating it into a daily routine.
  2. Self-Compassion Break: This exercise involves taking a few moments to offer oneself kindness and understanding during a difficult moment. The authors provide a step-by-step guide for practicing this exercise and suggest incorporating it into daily life.
  3. Soothing Touch Exercise: This exercise involves using touch to offer oneself comfort and compassion. The authors provide guidance on practicing this exercise and suggest using it during stress or anxiety.
  4. Self-Compassion Journaling: This involves writing down thoughts and feelings related to self-compassion, such as moments when one has been kind to themselves or times when one has been self-critical. The authors provide prompts for journaling and suggest using this exercise to build self-awareness and self-compassion.
  5. Compassionate Body Scan: This meditation focuses on different body parts and offers oneself compassion and understanding. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest using it to connect with the body and cultivate self-compassion.
  6. Affectionate Breathing: This meditation focuses on the breath and imagining oneself inhaling and exhaling love and compassion. The authors guide how to practice this meditation and suggest incorporating it into a daily mindfulness practice.
  7. Self-Compassion Letter: This exercise involves writing a letter to oneself offering kindness, understanding, and support. The authors guide how to write this letter and suggest using it to cultivate self-compassion and self-awareness.

Here are the steps for the Soothing Touch exercise from “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook”:

  1. Find a comfortable and quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and become present at the moment.
  3. Begin by placing your hand on your heart or another soothing part of your body. You might choose to place your hand on your cheek, your forehead, or another part of your body that feels comforting.
  4. Allow yourself to feel the warmth and comfort of your touch. If it feels helpful, you can imagine that you are offering yourself love and kindness through your touch.
  5. Spend a few moments simply noticing the sensation of your touch and allowing yourself to feel comforted and soothed.
  6. If your mind begins to wander, gently bring your attention back to the sensation of your touch.
  7. When you feel ready, slowly release your touch and take a few deep breaths.
  8. Take a moment to reflect on how the Soothing Touch exercise made you feel. Notice any changes in your body or your mood.

The Soothing Touch exercise is a simple and effective way to offer oneself comfort and compassion during moments of stress or anxiety. By practicing this exercise regularly, individuals can cultivate a more positive and compassionate relationship with themselves.

Here are the steps for the Self-Compassion Letter exercise from “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook”:

  1. Find a quiet and comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed for a little while.
  2. Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to become present.
  3. Imagine that you are writing a letter to a close friend who is going through a difficult time. Offer this friend kind and compassionate words of support and encouragement.
  4. When you feel ready, begin writing a letter to yourself, using the same kind and compassionate language you would use with a close friend.
  5. In your letter, offer yourself kindness and understanding for any struggles or difficulties that you have been experiencing. Acknowledge that these experiences are a natural part of the human experience and that you are not alone in your struggles.
  6. Consider including phrases that resonate with you, such as “I am here for you” or “I am proud of you for facing this challenge.”
  7. Take your time writing your letter, allowing yourself to feel the emotions as you write.
  8. When you are finished, read the letter back to yourself, allowing yourself to fully absorb the kind and compassionate words that you have written.

The Self-Compassion Letter exercise is a powerful way to cultivate self-compassion and self-awareness. By offering themselves kindness and understanding, individuals can shift their inner dialogue towards a more positive and supportive tone. The exercise can be repeated regularly, and letters can be saved and revisited during moments of difficulty or stress.

As a trauma-informed therapist, I believe that cultivating self-compassion is an essential component of trauma recovery. Trauma can often leave individuals feeling disconnected from themselves and others, leading to self-criticism and self-blame. By cultivating self-compassion, individuals can begin to heal from the effects of trauma and develop a more positive and compassionate relationship with themselves.

In addition, organizations can benefit from becoming more trauma-sensitive by recognizing the impact of trauma on individuals and creating a safe and supportive environment. The practices and exercises outlined in “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” can help individuals and organizations become more trauma-sensitive by promoting self-awareness, compassion, and empathy.

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Promoting Healing and Resilience: Trauma-Informed Parenting Strategies for Self-Regulation in Children

Trauma-informed parenting is an approach to parenting that considers the impact of trauma on a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. It recognizes that children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect may struggle to regulate their emotions, form positive relationships, and cope with stress.

Trauma-informed parenting involves creating a safe, stable, and supportive environment for children who have experienced trauma. It emphasizes the importance of safety and predictability while promoting healing and resilience.

Trauma-informed parenting also emphasizes the importance of understanding a child’s trauma history and its impact on their behavior and emotions. This involves being aware of triggers that may re-traumatize a child and learning to respond in a supportive and validating way.

Trauma-informed parenting uses positive discipline strategies that teach appropriate behavior and promote self-regulation rather than punishment or harsh discipline. It also emphasizes the importance of helping children build positive relationships and promoting their sense of self-worth.

Overall, trauma-informed parenting is an approach that emphasizes understanding and responding to a child’s needs in a way that promotes healing, resilience, and positive development.

Promoting self-regulation in a traumatized child can be a challenging but essential aspect of trauma-informed parenting. Self-regulation involves a child’s ability to manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in response to internal and external stressors.

Here are some strategies parents can use to promote self-regulation in their traumatized child:

  1. Model self-regulation: Children learn through observation, so parents must model healthy self-regulation strategies, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or other coping techniques.
  2. Provide a predictable routine: A consistent and predictable pattern can provide a sense of safety and security for a traumatized child, which can help promote self-regulation.
  3. Create a calming environment: Creating a calm and soothing environment can help a child feel more relaxed and in control, which can help promote self-regulation. This may involve using soft lighting, calming music, or other sensory tools.
  4. Teach coping skills: Teach your child healthy coping skills, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or other relaxation techniques, to help them manage their emotions and calm their body.
  5. Use positive reinforcement: Praise your child when they demonstrate self-regulation skills and reinforce positive behavior with rewards or incentives.
  6. Encourage physical activity: Physical activity can help a child release pent-up energy and emotions, which can help promote self-regulation. Encourage your child to participate in sports, dance, or yoga activities.

Parents can use these strategies to help their traumatized child develop healthy self-regulation skills, promoting healing, resilience, and positive development.

Self-Regulation

Promoting self-regulation in a traumatized child can be a challenging but essential aspect of trauma-informed parenting. Self-regulation involves a child’s ability to manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in response to internal and external stressors.

Here are some strategies parents can use to promote self-regulation in their traumatized child:

  1. Model self-regulation: Children learn through observation, so parents must model healthy self-regulation strategies, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or other coping techniques.
  2. Provide a predictable routine: A consistent and predictable pattern can provide a sense of safety and security for a traumatized child, which can help promote self-regulation.
  3. Create a calming environment: Creating a calm and soothing environment can help a child feel more relaxed and in control, which can help promote self-regulation. This may involve using soft lighting, calming music, or other sensory tools.
  4. Teach coping skills: Teach your child healthy coping skills, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or other relaxation techniques, to help them manage their emotions and calm their body.
  5. Use positive reinforcement: Praise your child when they demonstrate self-regulation skills and reinforce positive behavior with rewards or incentives.
  6. Encourage physical activity: Physical activity can help a child release pent-up energy and emotions, which can help promote self-regulation. Encourage your child to participate in sports, dance, or yoga activities.

Parents can use these strategies to help their traumatized child develop healthy self-regulation skills, promoting healing, resilience, and positive development.

Let Ron Huxley help you and your family find a pathway to healing. Schedule a session today by clicking here!

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10 Adlerian Parenting Tips for Children Who Have Experienced Trauma or Abuse

Adlerian parenting is based on the philosophy of Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychiatrist and founder of Adlerian psychology. Adler believed that human behavior is motivated by a desire for belonging, significance, and social connection. Adlerian parenting promotes a child’s competence and self-esteem while encouraging social responsibility and respect for others.


Adlerian parenting emphasizes creating a warm, nurturing, and cheerful home environment where children feel valued loved and supported. Adlerian parents strive to provide opportunities for their children to develop independence, social interest, and positive self-esteem while fostering a sense of community and social responsibility.


Adlerian parenting is based on encouragement, respect, and mutual trust between parents and children. Adlerian parents seek to understand their child’s perspective and feelings while setting clear boundaries and expectations for behavior. Adlerian parenting also emphasizes the importance of positive discipline strategies that focus on teaching appropriate behavior and promoting self-regulation rather than using punishment or harsh discipline.
Overall, the philosophy of Adlerian parenting is focused on promoting a child’s sense of belonging, significance, and social interest while encouraging positive behavior, social responsibility, and respect for others.

  1. Provide a safe and stable environment: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress need a sense of safety and stability. Create routines, set boundaries, and provide a secure home environment.
  2. Encourage healing through positive reinforcement: Praise your child’s effort and progress towards healing rather than just their achievements. This fosters a sense of resilience and self-worth.
  3. Focus on building trust: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress often struggle to trust others. Take the time to listen to your child and validate their feelings, which can help rebuild trust.
  4. Use positive discipline strategies: Instead of punishment or harsh discipline, use positive methods that teach appropriate behavior and promote self-regulation.
  5. Foster a sense of community: Encourage your child to be involved in positive community activities and develop positive relationships with peers. This helps them feel supported and less isolated.
  6. Provide opportunities for choice and control: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress may feel powerless. Providing options and opportunities for power can help build their self-esteem and sense of agency.
  7. Use trauma-informed parenting techniques: Learn about techniques and strategies, such as sensory regulation, grounding exercises, and mindfulness, that can help children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress.
  8. Model healthy coping strategies: Children learn by example, so model healthy coping strategies and positive self-care behaviors, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and exercise.
  9. Provide opportunities for play and creative expression: Play and creative expression can help children process and heal from trauma, abuse, or toxic stress. Provide opportunities for imaginative play, art, and other forms of creative expression.
  10. Seek professional support: Children who have experienced trauma, abuse, or toxic stress may benefit from professional support. Consider seeking therapy, counseling, or other support services to help your child heal and thrive.

Contact Ron Huxley, LMFT, to schedule a session if you need support on parenting tips and tools.

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Helping Children Focus in School After Trauma…

When children experience trauma, it can be difficult to focus and stay engaged in the classroom. Fortunately, many social-emotional learning activities can help children develop the skills they need to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Here are 10 ways children can use social-emotional learning activities to help them focus in the classroom after experiencing trauma.

1. Positive Self-Talk: Positive self-talk can be a powerful tool for helping children to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice positive self-talk by repeating mantras and affirmations to themselves throughout the day. This will help them to stay positive and motivated, even when facing challenging tasks.

2. Mindfulness: Mindfulness activities can help children to stay in the present moment and pay attention to what is happening in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice mindfulness activities like deep breathing and body scans to help them stay focused and engaged.

3. Visualization: Visualization activities can help children to create positive images in their minds, which can help them stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice visualization activities, such as imagining a peaceful place or positive future, to help them stay on task.

4. Social Skills: Social skills can help children stay engaged in the classroom and positively interact with their peers. Encourage your child to practice social skills, such as active listening, problem-solving, and conflict resolution.

5. Emotional Regulation: Emotional regulation activities can help children to manage their emotions and stay focused in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice emotional regulation activities like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and positive self-talk.

6. Self-Awareness: Self-awareness activities can help children to understand their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Encourage your child to practice self-awareness activities such as journaling, reflecting on their experiences, and talking to a trusted adult.

7. Goal Setting: Goal-setting activities can help children to stay focused and motivated in the classroom. Encourage your child to set short-term goals that are achievable and to create a plan for how to reach those goals.

8. Problem-Solving: Problem-solving activities can help children to think flexibly and stay focused in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice problem-solving activities, such as brainstorming, making lists, and breaking down tasks into smaller steps.

9. Self-Care: Self-care activities can help children to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice self-care activities such as getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals, and engaging in physical activity.

10. Connecting With Others: Connecting with others can help children to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to connect with peers by talking to them, listening to their stories, and engaging in conversations.

Ron Huxley can help your and your child focus and learn after dealing with stress and trauma. Ron Huxley is a licensed therapist specializing in anxiety and trauma. Contact him today!

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Why Choose Co-Parenting Counseling?

Co-parenting counseling can offer several benefits, including:

  1. Improved communication: Co-parenting counseling can help parents develop effective communication skills to handle conflicts and negotiate parenting decisions.
  2. Better understanding: Counseling can provide a safe space for parents to understand each other’s perspectives and feelings.
  3. Better relationships: Co-parenting counseling can help improve the relationship between parents, leading to a more positive and supportive co-parenting experience.
  4. Increased empathy: Counseling can help parents see things from their child’s perspective and increase empathy towards their co-parent.
  5. Improved well-being: By improving the co-parenting relationship, co-parenting counseling can reduce stress and improve well-being for both parents and children.
  6. Better outcomes for children: Children of co-parents who participate in counseling tend to have better outcomes, including improved mental health, academic performance, and behavior.

Co-parenting counseling typically involves a trained therapist who meets with both co-parents to discuss and address their challenges in co-parenting. The counselor may use techniques and strategies, such as active listening, empathy building, conflict resolution, and problem-solving, to help co-parents improve their communication and relationship.

During the sessions, the counselor may encourage the co-parents to discuss their concerns and goals, work through conflicts, and develop a more positive and effective co-parenting plan. The counselor may also provide guidance on how to manage common co-parenting issues, such as disagreements on discipline or schedule, and help co-parents develop a parenting plan that works for their family.

The number of sessions required for co-parenting counseling can vary, depending on the specific needs of each co-parenting relationship. Co-parenting counseling aims to help co-parents learn to work together as a team and provide a supportive environment for their children.

Let’s schedule a time to work together!