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Helping Children Focus in School After Trauma…

When children experience trauma, it can be difficult to focus and stay engaged in the classroom. Fortunately, many social-emotional learning activities can help children develop the skills they need to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Here are 10 ways children can use social-emotional learning activities to help them focus in the classroom after experiencing trauma.

1. Positive Self-Talk: Positive self-talk can be a powerful tool for helping children to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice positive self-talk by repeating mantras and affirmations to themselves throughout the day. This will help them to stay positive and motivated, even when facing challenging tasks.

2. Mindfulness: Mindfulness activities can help children to stay in the present moment and pay attention to what is happening in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice mindfulness activities like deep breathing and body scans to help them stay focused and engaged.

3. Visualization: Visualization activities can help children to create positive images in their minds, which can help them stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice visualization activities, such as imagining a peaceful place or positive future, to help them stay on task.

4. Social Skills: Social skills can help children stay engaged in the classroom and positively interact with their peers. Encourage your child to practice social skills, such as active listening, problem-solving, and conflict resolution.

5. Emotional Regulation: Emotional regulation activities can help children to manage their emotions and stay focused in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice emotional regulation activities like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and positive self-talk.

6. Self-Awareness: Self-awareness activities can help children to understand their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Encourage your child to practice self-awareness activities such as journaling, reflecting on their experiences, and talking to a trusted adult.

7. Goal Setting: Goal-setting activities can help children to stay focused and motivated in the classroom. Encourage your child to set short-term goals that are achievable and to create a plan for how to reach those goals.

8. Problem-Solving: Problem-solving activities can help children to think flexibly and stay focused in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice problem-solving activities, such as brainstorming, making lists, and breaking down tasks into smaller steps.

9. Self-Care: Self-care activities can help children to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to practice self-care activities such as getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals, and engaging in physical activity.

10. Connecting With Others: Connecting with others can help children to stay focused and engaged in the classroom. Encourage your child to connect with peers by talking to them, listening to their stories, and engaging in conversations.

Ron Huxley can help your and your child focus and learn after dealing with stress and trauma. Ron Huxley is a licensed therapist specializing in anxiety and trauma. Contact him today!

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Do I Really Have to Make Amends?

Making amends for hurting others is important in repairing relationships and restoring trust. Here are some steps that can be taken to make amends:

  1. Acknowledge the harm: The first step in making amends is to acknowledge the harm that has been done and take responsibility for one’s actions. This involves expressing genuine regret and remorse for the pain that has been caused.
  2. Seek forgiveness: After acknowledging the harm, it is important to ask for forgiveness from those who have been hurt. This involves admitting that one’s actions were wrong and seeking the forgiveness of others.
  3. Make restitution: If possible, it is important to make restitution for the harm done. This may involve repairing or replacing damaged property, paying compensation, or providing other financial support.
  4. Offer apologies: A heartfelt and sincere apology can go a long way in repairing relationships and restoring trust. An apology should be specific, acknowledging the harm done and expressing remorse for one’s actions.
  5. Change behavior: To prevent further harm and demonstrate a commitment to making amends, it is important to change one’s behavior. This may involve seeking help to address underlying issues, such as substance abuse or anger management, or committing to behaving differently in the future.
  6. Be patient: Repairing relationships and restoring trust takes time and may require patience and persistence. It is important to be willing to invest the time and effort needed to make amends and to be open to forgiveness and reconciliation.

In conclusion, making amends for hurting others involves acknowledging the harm, seeking forgiveness, restitution, offering apologies, changing behavior, and being patient. These steps allow individuals to take responsibility for their actions, repair relationships, and restore trust.

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Why Choose Co-Parenting Counseling?

Co-parenting counseling can offer several benefits, including:

  1. Improved communication: Co-parenting counseling can help parents develop effective communication skills to handle conflicts and negotiate parenting decisions.
  2. Better understanding: Counseling can provide a safe space for parents to understand each other’s perspectives and feelings.
  3. Better relationships: Co-parenting counseling can help improve the relationship between parents, leading to a more positive and supportive co-parenting experience.
  4. Increased empathy: Counseling can help parents see things from their child’s perspective and increase empathy towards their co-parent.
  5. Improved well-being: By improving the co-parenting relationship, co-parenting counseling can reduce stress and improve well-being for both parents and children.
  6. Better outcomes for children: Children of co-parents who participate in counseling tend to have better outcomes, including improved mental health, academic performance, and behavior.

Co-parenting counseling typically involves a trained therapist who meets with both co-parents to discuss and address their challenges in co-parenting. The counselor may use techniques and strategies, such as active listening, empathy building, conflict resolution, and problem-solving, to help co-parents improve their communication and relationship.

During the sessions, the counselor may encourage the co-parents to discuss their concerns and goals, work through conflicts, and develop a more positive and effective co-parenting plan. The counselor may also provide guidance on how to manage common co-parenting issues, such as disagreements on discipline or schedule, and help co-parents develop a parenting plan that works for their family.

The number of sessions required for co-parenting counseling can vary, depending on the specific needs of each co-parenting relationship. Co-parenting counseling aims to help co-parents learn to work together as a team and provide a supportive environment for their children.

Let’s schedule a time to work together!

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Digital Parenting is a Big Problem for Parents in 2023

It’s 2023, and parenting is changing just like everything else at a pace parents struggle to cope with. Technology has changed the way we communicate, the way we learn, and even the way we parent. It’s no surprise that digital parenting will be one of the biggest problems.

First, parents are trying to cope with their children’s virtual learning. With the increasing number of online classes and virtual schooling options, parents are trying to figure out how to make virtual learning work for their kids. They’re looking for ways to create a productive home learning environment, manage their kids’ online classes, and stay connected with their kids’ teachers and classmates.

Second, “digital parenting” is a growing struggle for parents in 2023. As technology becomes increasingly integrated into our lives, parents are trying to figure out how to monitor their kids’ online activities while still allowing them freedom. Parents need clarification about setting boundaries, teaching responsible screen use, and monitoring children’s digital activities. They’re attempting to protect children from cyberbullying and online predators.

Parents have differing views about how to manage their children’s screen time. With so many devices and platforms available, tracking how much time kids spend on screens can be tricky. Parents are looking for strategies to manage screen time and create a healthy balance of online and offline activities for their kids. Part of the problem is that parents need to become more familiar with the digital world, as are their children. Children can run circles around parents on operating computers and manipulating monitoring software.

It is essential that parents set some boundaries and rules, even if they are not perfect. Focus on the types of content your child can access, the amount of time they can spend online, and the people they can interact with. These boundaries should be age-appropriate and consider your child’s maturity level.

Parents will have to model responsible use of technology. Sit with children, ask questions, be open about how to use the internet safely and securely, protect themselves, and be wary of potential risks. Don’t shy away from difficult conversations about cyberbullying and online predators.

Even if you can’t control or out-think your child when it comes to technology, stay active in monitoring what your child is doing online. If warranted, search internet browser history, follow their social media accounts, and even look through children’s posts/messages.

Discuss limits with children to get their input on what they think is appropriate. Parents can make the final decisions, but getting children to take some ownership of the limits they recommend will increase cooperation. Let children teach you about social media and internet use.

Here is a list of the best websites parents can use to better understand how to manage digital parenting and technology.

  1. Common Sense Media: Common Sense Media is an invaluable resource for digital parenting. They offer various resources, from age-appropriate media recommendations to online safety tools. They also provide guidance on talking to kids about online safety and setting up parental controls.
  2. National PTA: The National Parent Teacher Association (PTA) is an excellent resource for parents looking to better understand how to manage digital parenting and technology. The PTA offers a variety of resources, including tips on how to set up a family media plan, how to talk to kids about online safety, and how to recognize signs of cyberbullying.
  3. Connect Safely: Connect Safely is a nonprofit organization providing parents with safety tips and guidance on managing digital parenting and technology. They offer a wealth of resources, including a parent guide to social media, a guide to online gaming, and advice on creating a family media plan.
  4. Parent Zone: Parent Zone is a website dedicated to helping parents and carers understand and manage digital parenting and technology. They offer a range of resources, from advice on setting up parental controls to tips on talking to kids about online safety.
  5. Net Aware: Net Aware is a website run by the UK’s National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC). It provides parents with reviews and advice on social media platforms, apps, and games, as well as tips on how to keep children safe online.
  6. Media Smarts: Media Smarts is a Canadian organization that provides parents with resources to manage digital parenting and technology. They offer a range of resources, including tips on how to talk to kids about online safety, spot and respond to cyberbullying, and set up parental controls.
  7. Microsoft Family Safety: Microsoft Family Safety is a free app that helps parents manage their family’s digital experience. The app provides parents with tools to set limits on screen time, content, and insights into their children’s online activities.
  8. Be Internet Awesome: Be Internet Awesome is a program from Google that teaches kids digital safety and citizenship. The program includes activities, games, and resources to help kids understand online security and make intelligent decisions.

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Breathwork is the body’s “calm down” switch

When life throws us challenges, we experience trauma or a stressful event; our natural response is to go into fight-or-flight mode. This is a normal, automatic response to a perceived danger. But when the threat has passed, it’s essential to learn how to calm your nervous system and release the tension and anxiety that can linger in the aftermath.

One of the most powerful tools for calming the nervous system is breathing. Breathwork has been used in various forms for centuries to help people manage stress, anxiety, and trauma. It’s an effective and natural way to reset your body and mind.

We take shallow, rapid breaths when our bodies are in fight-or-flight mode. This type of breathing is known as sympathetic breathing, and it’s the body’s way of preparing us to fight or run away. But when the danger has passed, this type of breathing can increase anxiety and make it more difficult to relax.

On the other hand, deep, slow breaths can help to activate the body’s parasympathetic nervous system. This system is responsible for calming the body and restoring balance. Deep, slow breaths can help to trigger the body’s relaxation response, which is the opposite of the fight-or-flight response.

The key to using breathing to calm the nervous system is to focus on the breath. Focusing on our breath brings us into the present moment and helps us become aware of our body and mind. This awareness helps us relax, as it allows us to recognize what is happening and let go of any tension or fear we may be holding onto.

Breathing can also help to release the emotions that may be stored in our body from the traumatic event. When we take a few deep, slow breaths, we can help to release the tension and stress that may have built up in our bodies. This type of breathing can also help release emotions associated with the trauma, allowing us to move through the experience more quickly.

Breathing can also help to regulate the body’s cortisol levels. Cortisol is a hormone that is released in response to stress. When we take deep, slow breaths, we can help to lower our cortisol levels and restore balance in the body. This can help to reduce anxiety and improve mood.

Try this simple breathing exercise:
Make your exhales longer than your inhales. For example, if you breathe in for 4 seconds, breathe out for a count of 8 seconds. Longer exhales than inhales will turn on the “rest and relaxation” functions in the parasympathetic system. Conversely, longer inhales than exhales energize the system. This is an exercise used by Navy Seals to prepare for or calm down from a battle. Take 3 or 4 long exhales. You should feel your body relax immediately, with shoulders dropping and tension releasing. You might even yawn, which is a good sign too.

Breathing is a powerful tool for calming the nervous system and helping manage trauma’s effects. It can help to reduce stress, release emotions, and regulate cortisol levels. When we focus on our breath and take a few slow, deep breaths, we can help to activate the body’s relaxation response and restore balance.

If you want help calming the body and brain due to worry, fear, stress, or panic, contact Ron Huxley today. Click here to schedule an appointment!

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Why are the 6 Key Principles of SAMHSA important to your Organization?

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) has identified six fundamental principles of trauma-informed care (TIC) to incorporate into treating individuals with trauma-related problems. These principles recognize the importance of understanding the impact of trauma on an individual’s life and how to provide care best that meets their needs.

The six principles of trauma-informed care and the questions traumatized individuals ask are:

  1. Safety: The first priority in any trauma-informed care setting is to ensure the safety of everyone involved. This means creating a safe emotional and psychological environment while addressing potential safety risks that could lead to additional re-traumatization.
    “Am I safe here?”
  2. Trustworthiness and Transparency: It is essential that any trauma-informed care setting be transparent and trustworthy. This means that all information is shared openly and honestly and that individuals are free to ask questions and express concerns.
    “Can I trust you?”
  3. Peer Support: Peer support is an essential part of the healing process for individuals who have experienced trauma. This means that individuals should be encouraged to reach out to others who have had similar experiences to build a support network.
    “Who shares my experiences?”
  4. Collaboration and Mutuality: Individuals in trauma-informed care settings must work together to create an atmosphere of collaboration and mutuality. All individuals involved should feel respected and valued, and their experiences and perspectives from past trauma should be considered in any activity or treatment plan.
    “Do I have a choice?”
  5. Empowerment: Individuals in trauma-informed care settings should be empowered to make their own decisions and take control of their healing process. This means that individuals should be encouraged to take an active role in their care and to make decisions that are in their best interests.
    “Do I have a voice that will be heard?”
  6. Cultural, Historical, and Gender Issues: It is essential that any trauma-informed care setting consider the cultural, historical, and gender issues that may impact an individual’s experience and recovery. This means that individuals should be encouraged to discuss their experiences without fear of judgment or criticism.
    “Is my cultural, gender, or history valued?”

These six principles of trauma-informed care, outlined by SAMHSA, are essential to providing effective, individualized, and compassionate care to individuals who have experienced trauma. By ensuring that these principles are incorporated into all aspects of care, we can create a safe and supportive environment for individuals to heal and move forward.

At its core, trauma-informed care is about understanding and responding to the needs of individuals and eliminating practices that lead to re-traumatization. It is about creating a safe and supportive environment where individuals can explore their experiences and work toward recovery. By incorporating SAMHSA’s six key principles of trauma-informed care, we can ensure that individuals receive the care and support they need to heal and move forward.

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5 Misconceptions of Trauma-Informed Care

When it comes to trauma-informed care, there are a lot of misconceptions that can prevent people from getting the help they need. Trauma-informed care is a way of providing care that recognizes trauma’s impact and helps reduce the trauma’s effects. Unfortunately, some common misconceptions can result in people getting the needed help.

Misconception #1: Trauma-Informed Care Is Only for People with Severe Mental Illness

One of the most common misconceptions about trauma-informed care is that it is only for people with severe mental illness. This is not true. Trauma-informed care is for anyone who has experienced trauma, regardless of the severity of their mental illness. We all go through trauma; call it a Big T trauma or a Little T trauma. Trauma affects every group of people in society. Call it a silent wound that goes unspoken due to shame or fear if you want. It is still a growing reality in our world, even if undetected.

Misconception #2: Trauma-Informed Care Is Too Expensive

Another misconception about trauma-informed care is that it is too expensive. While there can be a cost, there is no substitute for the price you can pay for not understanding trauma-sensitive principles. Trauma-informed care can enhance client outcomes, prevent relapses, open cooperation and communication, and create more health and happiness for traumatized individuals.

Misconception #3: Trauma-Informed Care Is Only for Survivors of Abuse

Another misconception about trauma-informed care is that it is only for abuse survivors. While trauma-informed care can be beneficial for survivors of abuse, it can also be helpful for anyone who has experienced trauma, regardless of the source. Trauma-informed care can help reduce the effects of trauma, including natural disasters, accidents, and other life-altering events.

Misconception #4: Trauma-Informed Care Is Only for Adults

A fourth misconception about trauma-informed care is that it is only for adults. While trauma-informed care can be especially beneficial for adults, it can also be helpful for children. Trauma-informed care can help children process and cope with the trauma they have experienced, which can help them lead healthier and more fulfilling lives.

Misconception #5: Trauma-Informed Care Is Only for Those Who Are “Professionals”

Finally, there is the misconception that trauma-informed care is only for “Professionals.” You don’t have to be a clinician, doctor, social worker, or lawyer to benefit from Trauma-informed care. Everyone needs to understand the principles and practices of trauma because trauma happens in every area of life. There might be some areas of trauma that individuals don’t need to know in great detail, but recognizing the signs, responding compassionately, and avoiding retraumatizing others are crucial for anyone who lives with or works with a traumatized child or adult.

Ron Huxley can provide you with trauma-informed therapy or training. Let Ron work with your entire organization to get everyone on the same page and create Trauma-Informed Champions at every level of your school, nonprofit, church, or business. Contact Ron today at rehuxley@gmail.com.

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Updates on In-Person Sessions and Telehealth

Please note that I only conduct in-person sessions on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Telehealth is available Monday through Thursday as an alternative.

Telehealth can include phone, FaceTime, or Secure Video, depending on your preference or what provides the best connection for our sessions.

In-person sessions are located at 6621 Bay Laurel Pl, Avila, Ca. 93424 in Suite A, Building 4.

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Anxiety should be our primary focus for the New Year

Anxiety is a common and often debilitating mental health condition that affects millions of people around the world. It is characterized by feelings of worry, unease, and fear and can manifest in a variety of physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, difficulty breathing, and muscle tension. While anxiety is something that many experiences at some point in their lives, it can become a chronic problem that interferes with daily functioning and overall well-being.

Given the significant impact of anxiety on individuals and society, we must make it a priority to address this issue in the coming year. In this blog post, we will explore why anxiety should be our primary focus in 2023 and what we can do to support those struggling with this condition.

One of the main reasons anxiety should be a focus in 2023 is that it is highly prevalent. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), anxiety disorders are among the most common mental health conditions globally, affecting an estimated 264 million people. One in every 13 people is likely to experience anxiety at some point.

Anxiety can have a major impact on a person’s quality of life. It can interfere with work, relationships, and daily activities and lead to other mental health issues, such as depression. Anxiety can also have physical consequences, such as an increased risk of heart disease and other health problems.

Another reason anxiety should be a focus in 2023 is that it is often overlooked or misunderstood. Despite its prevalence, anxiety is often stigmatized and not taken as seriously as other mental health conditions. This can make it difficult for people to seek help or even recognize that they have a problem.

There is also a lack of awareness about the various forms of anxiety and the different ways it can manifest. For example, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is characterized by excessive and persistent worry about various topics, while social anxiety disorder is marked by extreme fear of social situations. Understanding the different types of anxiety can help us better identify and support those struggling with this condition.

So what can we do to make anxiety a focus in 2023 and support those dealing with this condition? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Increase awareness and understanding of anxiety: One of the first steps to addressing anxiety is to increase awareness and understanding of the condition. This can involve educating the public about the different forms of anxiety, the signs and symptoms, and the available treatments. It can also involve debunking myths and stereotypes about anxiety and promoting a more compassionate and understanding approach to struggling people.
  • Expand access to treatment: Another important step is ensuring that those struggling with anxiety have access to effective treatment. This can involve making therapy and medications more readily available and affordable and increasing the number of trained mental health professionals. It can also involve supporting alternative treatments such as mindfulness and meditation, which can be effective for some people.
  • Create supportive environments: We can also create more supportive environments for those with anxiety. This can involve providing accommodations in the workplace, such as flexible scheduling or the option to work from home. It can also involve creating safe and supportive spaces in schools, universities, and other community settings.
  • Promote self-care: Finally, it is important to encourage self-care and stress management techniques to help individuals better manage their anxiety. This can involve educating people about healthy habits such as exercise, sleep, and nutrition, as well as techniques such as relaxation and mindfulness.

In conclusion, Anxiety is a growing problem for children and adults. It can be an invisible illness overlooked by society, leading to fear and anxiety in those suffering from it. The good news is that anxiety can be managed, and we can work together to bring change so that more people can recover from it.

Let Ron Huxley help you deal with anxiety by scheduling a session today!

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New Year Reflections (vs. Resolutions)

This year, I am working on short reflections, taking an inner path of peace and wellness instead of the traditional new year resolutions. I hope you enjoy them…

It’s Normal

It is normal to feel abnormal from time to time. Fear and uncertainty are certainties in worlds that are broken and fragmented. What is needed isn’t more glue and duct tape but more compassion and softness for ourselves. Try the softer path versus the hard, logical road and see if your journey discovers new growth in the rocks and gravel you overlooked before.

Action Step: Reflect on your inner path. How rocky has it been? Where does it feel broken? What would the softer path look like for you? What will you find that you overlooked?

Take a Breath

Inspiration doesn’t always require perspiration,
I am not against it; I have shed my share of it.
Inspiration is “in spirit,” breathing hope in and
releasing hopelessness. Pausing to feel the true
self and letting go false. Allow new ideas to
happen, without striving, with just the breath.
Take another until there are several, like
pearls on a string, shimmering in the light.

Action Step: Practice breathing more and stop trying to find inspiration and creativity. Let it find you…Don’t let the wait time increase your anxiety; start striving again. Take another breath and breath in the spirit, in-spire-nation.

OVER IT

Drinking is just the symptom of the bigger
problem, the iceberg under the surface
no one wants to consider. The yelling is just a
sign. Overeating is just the frosty
tip, the overspending, the overthinking,
the over-everything, and excesses to mask
the pain. Let’s start with a few ice cubes,
drink a glass of chilled water, and talk about
the stuff long buried. Aren’t we finally OVER IT?

Action Step: Assess how ready you are to be OVER It, whatever it is…What’s your first step for inner healing? Can you read a book, listen to a podcast, or talk to a therapist? Get out your journal, brush off the dust and start writing.