It’s a simple question. Not really complicated, right? Actually, it can be a tricky question to answer for some people. Many men and women who didn’t grow up with healthy examples of managing emotions or feelings were not valued or punished for expressing them. Anger is often an emotion that is used to cover up unpleasant feelings states, like sadness or fear. Anger has more energy and control but prevents us from knowing what is really underneath.

In couples, one person can be flooded with emotions and can shut down to control them. They might appear unemotional when in fact, they have too many emotions. A good therapist or life coach can help someone learn to be more aware of and address their feelings.

Try this simple exercise to know when you are feeling different types of emotions:

I feel happy when…

I feel sad when…

I feel excited when…

I feel angry when…

I feel safe when…

I feel scared when…

I feel invisible when…

I feel confident when…

Use the answers to these sentences to share with others close to you. Knowing what you feel may help you. Sharing them will help others. Practice noticing what you are feeling throughout the day. It is said that the only people who have no feelings are sociopaths and dead people. As stark a truth as that is, it means you have feelings, and you are able to be aware of, address them, and accommodate feelings in your relationship.

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