Trauma is an overwhelming event that surpasses our nervous systems’ capacity to manage or understand. Because of this, we can’t expect that we will go through it normally or rationally. Why would we think that we can? But we do!

It may have to do with an underlying belief that it is not OK to have weaknesses. Everyone has them, even without the toxic effects of trauma. Trauma only accentuates those areas of weaknesses. We constantly compare ourselves to others and use examples of others’ success as a measuring stick of our own level of goodness. We gravitate to negative media and negative people who reinforce our own negative thoughts and feelings.

The consequence is usually anger or shame. That’s when the vicious cycle of self-deprecating comments and further comparisons start and then more anger and shame. We have to get out of this negative cycle of abuse. The trauma that was done to us or the hurt that others did to us has shifted now to the torture we put ourselves through…as if we deserve to stay stuck in this suffering. We don’t!

Write Brain Reflections: Your weaknesses are opportunities for wisdom to shine through. Pain is not something we have to live with. It is something to learn from. What is it teaching you today? Where do you need to set stronger boundaries? How do you need to pause and rest, every day! Yes, every day. What new, more healthy rules for life have you discovered? What are the five things you are grateful for? Repeat them every day. What and whom do you need to forgive? 

The aftermath of trauma and the weaknesses it exposes can reveal the wisdom that allows us to reach deeper levels of living. Let yourself benefit from this today. 

READ MORE trauma-informed contemplations at, our free online resources for trauma-informed care in the home, school, and community.

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