The phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” is a childish idea that isn’t really true. It is a saying that is designed to be a reply to an insult or ward off bullying and discrimination. Adoptive families know the pain that comes from social stigma and stereotypes that surround adoption. The reality is that words do hurt but they can also heal.
af·firm·a·tions
ˌafərˈmāSH(ə)n/
1. the action or process of affirming something or being affirmed.
2. emotional support or encouragement.
Affirmative Adoption Words: to “affirm” is to state that something is true. It is a “higher truth” that helps us be who we were designed to be; face adversities, and aspire to be the best we can be.
The repetition of affirmative words can change habit patterns and attitudes. It isn’t just positive thinking. That implies there is no work involved or no struggle. Affirmations place ourselves into alignment with the best version of ourselves.
The best affirmations start with “I am…” This makes it real and authentic. It establishes our identity based on what we choose to be versus what others say we are or are not.
Affirmations cause us to take responsibility. It voices the belief that I am aware of something that needs to be changed and that I can and will do something about it. We are not victims. We are agents of change and healing to our families.
Beliefs are habitual patterns of thinking. They are often the result of our past experiences and contain old survival ideas that may no longer be needed. If we learned how to survive, we can unlearn any unhealthy patterns, and re-learn new, more powerful ways to think.
List 5 positive “I am…” affirmations:
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2.
3.
4.
5.
Positive Adoption Language
The way we talk — and the words we choose — say a lot about what we think and value. When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption is a way to build a family — just as birth is. Both are important, and neither is more important than the other.
Choose the following, positive adoption language instead of the negative talk that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language, you will reflect the true nature of adoption, free of innuendo.
Positive Language |
Negative Language |
Birth Parent |
Real Parent |
Biological Parent |
Natural Parent |
Birth Child |
Own Child |
My Child |
Adopted Child; Own Child |
Born to Unmarried Parents |
Illegitimate |
Terminate Parental Rights |
Give Up |
Make an Adoption Plan |
Take Away |
To Parent |
To Keep |
Waiting Child |
Adoptable Child; Available Child |
Birth Father; Biological Father |
Begettor |
Making Contact With |
Reunion |
Parent |
Adoptive Parent |
International Adoption |
Foreign Adoption |
Adoption Triad |
Adoption Triangle |
Permission to Sign a Release |
Disclosure |
Search |
Track Down Parents |
Child Placed for Adoption |
An Unwanted Child |
Court Termination |
Child Taken Away |
A child with Special Needs |
Handicapped Child |
Child from Abroad |
Foreign Child |
Was Adopted |
Is Adopted |
* Source: https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/talking-about- adoption/positive-adoption-language/
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