In day one of our new Dream Parenting Series we explored the need to “take inventory” of our family situations. Today we want to focus on how to start shifting the balance from the negatives, in your inventories, to a positive. The simpliest and quickest way is to “do more of what works” and less of what doesn’t. It really can be that simple…
What is it about your family that works? What is that you do as a parent, however infrequently, that seems to make a difference in others? What is one thing that you like about your own parenting and your family interactions?
The simpliest way to transform your family into your “dream family” is to do more of those positive things. Do it daily, hourly if you can. Build up some energy and good vibrations.I know that you can’t go to Disney Land everyday, if that was your only answer. But you can find the underlying positive thing that going to Disney Land brought about. Was it engaging in a new challenge that brought out the fun in each of you? What other, less costly things, can you do to challenge yourself and your family? Was going to the Magic Kingdom about not doing laundry and worrying about poor school grades? Those are both realities to family life but how can you carve our time in your day, each day, to not think or do those things and just focus on one another?
The other side to this coin is to do less of the negative things in life. I know paying bills is a negative and you have to do it. I am not suggesting you stop paying the light bill. Can you do it at a time when the kids are in bed and your focus with them is on more positive attitudes. If you hate cooking, you can’t exactly not cook, right? What foods are less challenging to prepare or how can you combine what you love to do when you are doing what you hate to do.
You won’t be perfect in this act of dream transformation. You may still yell at your child when they leave the towel on the bathroom floor. Just start over by doing less of the negative thing (yelling) and more of what works for you. Over time, you will see better outcomes in your interactions with your family. Being with each other will be more about what works and less about what doesn’t.
Share how you have used this dream parenting principle in your family!